Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize