he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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