Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
