Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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