We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
