i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
