I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
