the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
