She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
