I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Are we still banned from the library?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
