I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
