And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
