we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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