im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
