So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
