butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Princesses don't give blow jobs
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Also, beer. Big fan.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
