my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
