Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Who died my cat blue again?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
