I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
