I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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