I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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