she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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