I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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