okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
