Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
