Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
