shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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