im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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