I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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