Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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