I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
