You're completely useless in the revolution.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
