Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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