this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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