smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
