I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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