yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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