she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
