You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
