I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
stop calling my apartment porn island.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Randomize
