"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So apparently I’m into choking now
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