Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
