was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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