garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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