he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
