Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
