Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
