why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
