There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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