He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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