do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
birth control should be required to get into college
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
