i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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