if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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